Thursday, March 20, 2014


I wrote this a while ago in my phone and luckily emailed it to myself the night before my phone was lost in Baltimore. I've been meaning to post it, but I've been really busy with school since I'm gearing up for graduation. 
 I am so lucky. Blessed. Looked upon and graced.  Whatever you call it. 

In my life I have just that: life. And very aspect that accompanies it.
I have a safe place to live, water, food, a job and a running car.
I have two sweet fluffles that sleep with me each night that love me, each with random sweet (and stubborn) personalities that make me laugh.
I have a family who has come together under all I've been through and checked on me, loved me and guided me through my hardest hours as of late.
I have friends who have prayed for me an checked on me continuously- letting me know they are there for me day or night to help with whatever I may need.
I have a boyfriend and his family who have expressed deep concern for me- even among their own daily issues. A man who not only knew going into the relationship that I had health issues and would be surgery (and possibly end up in a wheelchair later on due to what may or may not come with other health problems yet to be addressed), but stood by me nonetheless. He had catered to my every need, helping me walk to the bathroom, out of bed, getting water so I can take medications, going to the store for me, helping care for my cats because I can't bend down to feed them and more. And through all this, he still tells me I'm pretty. I only wished I'd met him 10 years ago- oh the glory that would have been! But I'm not sure if have realized what a great person I had before me at that time - still needing to weed out those who had yet to wrong me. I still lose my breath when I look into his eyes- and he doesn't even know what a catch he is or how gorgeous he is (lucky for me!) his family has opened up their arms wide for me, expressing well wishes and I couldn't be more thankful for all of them.
I also have the opportunity to get an education, to help others and to get medical help when I need it.
Is my life perfect? Of course not. My family, friends and boyfriend all have our issues w one another - we don't always see eye to eye on things. I have bills I can't pay an will have health issues are unable to be "solved" or "fixed"; BUT I am still blessed beyond compare.
If you are reading this, you know why. YOU are why. In my last surgery I made a will in case things went south. Because you are reading this and not at my funeral hearing my last words, THAT is why I am so thankful.  I don't have it easy- I never have. But damn I have a lot going for me. All because of caring and considerate people in my life- because of those I have been fortunate enough to come in contact with some way or another- because of YOU.
And for that, I cannot express enough gratitude and cannot be humble enough to show you my true emotions.
I am thankful yet again, to be given the opportunity to continue life- no matter how hard. I still get to LIVE.

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