Friday, December 27, 2013

How to prepare for a major life change in one month

So recently I got some news that literally knocked me down from my doctor.

I held it together until I got to my car and left- then once on the highway the numbness faded and I allowed myself to cry.

I went and told my boyfriend on the phone, allowing my vulnerability to succumb me to more tears and heartache. I stayed in bed for days, cancelling work and not eating.

I started back to therapy immediately, which I hadn't done in years. THAT is how major this secret is. And now, I'm going to put it out there for everyone to read. Why? Because I honestly believe that what I have experienced in my life has given me the opportunity to help others. It's one of the ways I cope with my depression that has stemmed from a long line of genetics.

You see, when something bad happens most people will say something stupid like "Look on the bright side..." and then tell you why you shouldn't feel the way you do and to "perk up" instead. Those people may have a point, but negating your emotions completely isn't healthy. This is one of those times where I need time to mourn the loss of my body changing entirely and the outcome of my future changing on a permanent basis. Those who have lost something without it being a decision can understand where I'm coming from: looking on the bright, while somewhat helpful at a point in the future, does NOT help when you need to release other emotions that are causing an insane amount of turmoil in your soul. You have to express yourself how you see fit.

Needless to say, because of one man's decision to harm me when I was young I have been dealing with Cancer off and on.  It has now come to the point where at the age of 30 I found out I was going to need a complete hysterectomy. I have no money to freeze eggs and it is too late to do that now. I have no children. While I have other health issues that have made me consider not having children because of fears I would be a bad mother, that was at least an option I had yet to pursue.  Now it is decided for me. 

"Oh! But you'll be healthy" or "Oh you can adopt!" or "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" does NOT help how I feel.  It does NOT allow me to feel that you are truly letting me grieve and accept this news in my life. 

I will never see those lines on a pregnancy test.  I will never feel a life growing inside me, kicking and moving.  I will never see those pictures on an ultrasound. I will never have a baby shower, pick a child's name or register for baby gifts.  I will never cradle them to sleep, hear them laugh or watch them grow.

Allow me to be sad. Allow me to express my emotions until I am ready to be "back on track".  Allow ME to crumble a bit in your arms and cry.  Allow me the honesty of what is really happening in MY life.  Please give me your support.  You do not need to completely understand what I am dealing with to be a friend for me.


I ask you not to gossip and make up your own ideas of why this is happening to me (religious or whatnot)- I do ask that you come to me with questions and I will answer them if I am strong enough.

This surgery will be accompanied by other things being taken care of at the same time- which will make it so I can't work for a while.  My recovery will be a long one to say the least.


Saturday, December 14, 2013

HOLIDAY RETAIL COMMON COURTESY RULES TO FOLLOW:

I posted this on my Facebook, but thought I should put it up here too for future reference.

HOLIDAY RETAIL COMMON COURTESY RULES TO KNOW:
1. If there is a long line, have your payment ready, including coupons. MOST places don't let you use more than 1 coupon per transaction. NO we cannot do multiple transactions with a long line. Arguing with us doesn't help. If you need gift receipts tell us at the BEGINNING of the transaction, not AFTER you've paid.

2. If you have a lot of people shopping with you, please have them wait AWAY from the line. Having 4+ people in line just for one person's purchase makes the line longer for no necessary reason.

3. SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Retail workers are paid very little and have to put up with a lot.

4. Don't just throw things where you want because you're lazy. Employees have to find and return them to the right place, making them stay at work even later than they should.  AT LEAST take them to the front counter or nearest Customer Service.

5. SMILE. Seriously, it's the holidays. Going up to the register/employee and being an expressionless prick and just acting pissed off because we are REQUIRED to ask if you'll donate to whatever cause is going on is uncalled for. Make our jobs a little happier by being a decent human being to us.

6. If you're teaching your child the importance of money and having them pay their own way that's great. PLEASE be there in case they don't have enough OR need help counting a bit faster if there is a long line. Employees get fussed at by management if lines don't go down at a fairly decent pace.

7. PLEASE know what you're coming to shop for if you want to ask for assistance. In other words, don't walk into a bookstore and ask for help looking for a book but only know the color of it and that there is a person on the front (this seriously happened to me) and not know what it's about, the author or anything else.

8. KEEP YOUR KIDS UNDER CONTROL. Holidays are stressful for everyone, but letting them roam around and just continue on your regular conversation while they harass other people is incredibly rude.

9. KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF about how employees look (or at least until you leave the store). Telling someone that they would "look nice if they had their tattoos removed" or you believe someone would "look great with a little more work put into their makeup" or "You can always get your tattoos removed" is atrocious. DID YOUR PARENTS TEACH YOU THAT?? If nobody asks your opinion, then shut up.

10. Don't get all pissy if someone wishes you Merry Christmas and you don't celebrate it. Either way, they're telling you to have a happy day. It isn't like they're condemning you to hell by saying those words.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

YOU are NOT ME.

So I bring this up for those of you who do or don't know.
1. PLEASE be careful about tagging me in things related to what I may have expressed to you in private of what I am going through. I don't want everyone knowing my life (believe it or not, there is a LOT more going on than I ever put here).
2. PLEASE do NOT assume that chronic illnesses are a "quick fix" just by something you've heard recently. The 4-5 doctors I see each 1-2 months (if not monthly) and I have worked VERY hard to get me where I am today.
3. Unless you are PERSONALLY a doctor, or PERSONALLY have the illnesses I do, I don't want your conspiracy theories (oh healthcare doesn't really want to take care of you etc or you'd be "fixed") or the "If you just ate differently or did xyz things would be fine".

I appreciate your concern, BUT you are not my doctor(s).  You are not me. It gets VERY exhausting hearing someone say "Oh but I heard on the news" or "Oh I read that blah blah is happening now" - which is great, but still like saying there is a cure for a great disease BUT there is still a process it has to go through (FDA trials etc,  filtering down through lawyerspeak, drug companies manufacturing enough, doctors actually putting their faith in something "just proven" and on).

I DO appreciate your advice, but sometimes when you're actually IN this position day in and day out it just gets seen as obnoxious like I'm not doing everything in my power to feel better. TRUST ME, I would literally take 5 years off my life if I knew I could be pain free for the next 25 years. No joke.

I'm just asking you to see things from the another point of view is what I'm getting at. Some things are a very simple fix. Multiple illnesses combined with one another is not one of them. Be understanding. Get better educated (Wikipedia is not necessarily "educated" since the sources aren't always valid- try actual scholarly sources). Be open minded. Realize you don't have the answers on how to "fix" everyone or everything. Be kind.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Nelson Mandela vs. Chris Kyle = flag at half mast

Before ANYONE gets started, just know that I DO think Nelson Mandela is an incredible person. He conquered so much, did not remain bitter (as I would have been) after years in jail and still rose to the top. He was a force to be reckoned with in terms of doing what was right and still maintaining his composure. Obama asked the country to have the flag flown at have mast today to honor him. He was not part of this country, but he was still an amazing man- and that I can agree with.

I also want to be incredibly clear here: I HATE POLITICS. I am not stating who I voted for here or any political affiliation. I am just expression an opinion of general disgust. You'll see why. 

Now let's flash over to the United States where we have Chris Kyle, an incredible U.S. Navy Seal (you can read more about him and the work he did here:
http://heroesproject.org/chris-kyle-u-s-navy-seal-chief-seal-team-3/) not only served his country, but volunteered to help soldiers returning from war to try and adjust back into the civilian world. Often times these men and women had PTSD or "viewable traumas" as I refer to them where they had missing limbs or other physical damage from war.

Chris Kyle continued to serve even AFTER he had already served his country. Yet, Obama did NOT have the flags flown at half mast for him and did not address the nation for losing such an integral part of winning the war on terror. Yet, the President did address that his condolences were with Whitney Houston's Family after she passed away.

Christopher Scott "Chris" Kyle was a U.S. Navy SEAL who was known as "the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History" (a phrase which was used in the title of his autobiography). Kyle, a Texas native and resident, was shot and killed on 2 February 2013 at a Texas shooting range, and he was buried in the state capital of Austin. Texas governor Rick Perry issued a statement expressing his condolences to Chris Kyle's family "and the thousands of service members that were his extended family," but despite a good deal of public support for the gesture, Governor Perry did not issue a proclamation directing flags to be flown at half-staff statewide on the occasion of either Chris Kyle's memorial service or his funeral. (As noted above, that honor is a traditional one for those who have died while active duty members of the armed forces, but Kyle did not die on active duty, having left the U.S. Navy in 2009.)
Read more at http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/chriskyle.asp#VJFHoAZaFDK3jC73.99
Yes, yes I understand that in general it is up to the governor of the state if the flags are at half mast generally, but the President IS ABLE to make that call as well.

Here is my point and question: Why are we depriving respect for those in our country who deserve it the most after they have given so much? Why are we not showing future generations the importance of saying goodbye to a fallen soldier after all they have done for our great nation? Come on America, we can do better than this. Shame on us.
Christopher Scott "Chris" Kyle was a U.S. Navy SEAL who was known as "the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History" (a phrase which was used in the title of his autobiography). Kyle, a Texas native and resident, was shot and killed on 2 February 2013 at a Texas shooting range, and he was buried in the state capital of Austin. Texas governor Rick Perry issued a statement expressing his condolences to Chris Kyle's family "and the thousands of service members that were his extended family," but despite a good deal of public support for the gesture, Governor Perry did not issue a proclamation directing flags to be flown at half-staff statewide on the occasion of either Chris Kyle's memorial service or his funeral. (As noted above, that honor is a traditional one for those who have died while active duty members of the armed forces, but Kyle did not die on active duty, having left the U.S. Navy in 2009.)
Read more at http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/chriskyle.asp#VJFHoAZaFDK3jC73.99
Christopher Scott "Chris" Kyle was a U.S. Navy SEAL who was known as "the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History" (a phrase which was used in the title of his autobiography). Kyle, a Texas native and resident, was shot and killed on 2 February 2013 at a Texas shooting range, and he was buried in the state capital of Austin. Texas governor Rick Perry issued a statement expressing his condolences to Chris Kyle's family "and the thousands of service members that were his extended family," but despite a good deal of public support for the gesture, Governor Perry did not issue a proclamation directing flags to be flown at half-staff statewide on the occasion of either Chris Kyle's memorial service or his funeral. (As noted above, that honor is a traditional one for those who have died while active duty members of the armed forces, but Kyle did not die on active duty, having left the U.S. Navy in 2009.)
Read more at http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/chriskyle.asp#VJFHoAZaFDK3jC73.99
Christopher Scott "Chris" Kyle was a U.S. Navy SEAL who was known as "the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History" (a phrase which was used in the title of his autobiography). Kyle, a Texas native and resident, was shot and killed on 2 February 2013 at a Texas shooting range, and he was buried in the state capital of Austin. Texas governor Rick Perry issued a statement expressing his condolences to Chris Kyle's family "and the thousands of service members that were his extended family," but despite a good deal of public support for the gesture, Governor Perry did not issue a proclamation directing flags to be flown at half-staff statewide on the occasion of either Chris Kyle's memorial service or his funeral. (As noted above, that honor is a traditional one for those who have died while active duty members of the armed forces, but Kyle did not die on active duty, having left the U.S. Navy in 2009.)
Read more at http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/chriskyle.asp#VJFHoAZaFDK3jC73.99

Friday, November 22, 2013

Friends being stupid

Recently I told someone about a few instances regarding some friends and their decisions lately.
These "decisions" happen to revolve around sudden divorce or breakup and getting remarried again. The other person going from one guy to another, getting engaged quickly and mooching off of them like crazy for a few weeks to a month or so (literally) and then breaking up with them to go to someone else and the cycle starts all over. With each of these people it's always a "whirlwind love" and each time they "swear" that "this time I know he's the ONE" blah blah blah whatever. 

Here's my issue: You are dragging other people through all of this proverbial shit in the meantime to experiment with whatever emotional baggage you're dealing with. The remedy? Simple: TAKE TIME TO BE ALONE. Figure out what is best for you after a breakup. Find yourself again and just be.

Unfortunately, neither of these women realize they have developed a dependent personality and suddenly "need" a man in their lives either to define them or take care of them. Have I tried talking sense into them? You bet. I've tried being nice, tried suggestions only to get screamed at for not being supportive. I've tried being blunt and saying  "I told you so." and "This is what you said last time" and that didn't work either. Other friends have also tried to intervene. Sadly, it's a train wreck that keeps getting back on the tracks after each collision. At some point you almost have to admire the idiocy of attempting to continue it over and over and expect different results really.

Now back to the person I told all this to.
His response: "Where do you find these train wrecks?" And it is a very valid point. I did have to remind him that they weren't like that when we first met AND we all have our "moments" in life that make us look like complete whack-jobs in someone's eyes.  Hell, I know I have an ex or 2 out there to this day vouching that I should be institutionalized. 

Here is the difference though: WE FIX OURSELVES rather than getting worse. We admit (at some point or another) that something is wrong and needs to be adjusted. We ask for help and work through our issues rather than just trampling over people and pretending things are fine. THAT is not healthy. And doing all this with KIDS in the mix, going from one relationship to the other?? Why not just attach a damn snorkel to your kids face, a rope around their waist and the other end to a car while you drag them through the proverbial mud of your shitty relationships and tell them to learn to tread the crap in life that you can't stop to help get yourself out of. How are you teaching them anything?? You aren't. Way to go.

Get your shit together and think of your child first like you said you would at some point in your life. If you don't have a kid, then stop acting like an idiot with other people's hearts in the first place. THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Veterans Day vs. Memorial Day- and Why You Should Care

Last night in the pub I was having a beer or two with a couple of my best men. As one can expect after one too many, someone brings up a topic that is a bit too serious and others will either try to change the conversation, ignore it or join in. Usually I'm guilty of ignoring or changing the topic, but this time I jumped in and listened, and despite him being a bit more than "tipsy" he had some very valid points I wanted to share:

The difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day is the realization that we honor those who either did or didn't make it back. For those of you who need it broken down completely here ya go:

Veterans Day: 
*Made it back
*Witnessed unfathomable things we can't imagine to keep us safe.
*Many still being deployed/utilized in keeping our country safe, despite having lost friends/relatives in battle, sometimes side by side.
*Many live with daily issues like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and unfortunately have limited options through the VA to address these issues.

Memorial Day:
*These brave men and women sadly did not make it back while defending our freedoms for our great country. THUS why we call it "Memorial Day"- it is a day we take to remember them and the remarkable sacrifice they gave for us. They don't get to say a final goodbye to their families, they don't get to see their children grow up or loved ones live on, (except if you believe in the "great beyond" of course).

Do not be fooled either. They don't get paid a lot of money and this is NOT a glamorous life they lead. I was once a military wife, so I know how little they actually make.

What's Appropriate:
1. If you see a veteran, don't just go up and be all cheery like an effing cheerleader and act like you're doing a huge amazing act by saying "Thanks for your service!" and walking away. What they want is someone who actually CARES enough to show REAL emotion about what they went through. Look them in the eyes and say something like "I really appreciate your service" or a simple "Thank you for your service" will do.

2. If you're posting on social media (Facebook, Twitter etc) saying "Happy Veterans Day!!"  is treating it like it's birthday party. IT ISN'T. Remember, these are people who gave a LOT more than you can actually imagine- so treat it as such. It's a respect issue. If you can't find something decent to say about the day itself like "Thank you to all Veterans!" then just hush.

3. Retailers saying they're having a "Veterans Day sale" REALLY piss me off. You're selling things because people are veterans and gave their all for their country, so now they get 10% off a mattress??? REALLY? What is wrong with you!? If anything, advertising like that ensures that I will never (let me repeat: NEVER) shop at that establishment out of sheer principle. Taking advantage of a holiday like this is smart I get that- you want to make money, BUT they're veterans who were in WAR (most likely anyhow- we're just saying hypothetically to make a point here) and you want to make money off them  and only give them a measly 10% off?? How about at LEAST 40%?? Bloodthirsty pricks. Shame on them.

ANYHOW, be respectful of those who have fought for you to have so much. You live in a country that you can wear anything you want and say anything you want in public (for the most part), you can vote, you can drink, you can get an education, you can date inter-racially (in some countries that is a sin and you are killed for it), if you are raped you can bring your attacker(s) to justice (in other countries the rape victim is often burned by acid, stoned and shunned by the family because they believe the victim did it on purpose and now the family is disgraced) etc. WE HAVE IT EASY HERE IN AMERICA. BE THANKFUL.



Saturday, October 26, 2013

Censorship EVERYWHERE.

So I've recently learned a hard lesson:

The people that should care about you don't always.
The people who you thought would come through, won't.
The people who advocate for you and cheer you on will eventually let you down at the one moment you think they won't.

This isn't being negative, it's being honest.

The reason people might let you down is because they have their own crap to deal with. Not everyone can focus on YOU ALL the time. It isn't how life works. It doesn't mean they care less or love you less. It means their priorities have changed (maybe they have a sick family member or a new child??) Give them a break until you know the entire story.

However, don't condemn people for NOT being like you. For not ACTING like you want them to. People all have a breaking point. They all have a moment in their life when they just snap.

Allowing someone to say what they want at that moment, may mean the world to them. LET THEM BE HEARD.

Stop judging so much. We live in a world where everything must be a certain way. Must sound "right" and be "politically correct" and on and on just because one soccer mom got a bit uptight because someone said something that might possibly resemble their child. Or one guy is a control freak and couldn't handle the fact that someone made a smart ass remark about something that might possibly resemble a trait he has/had.

Let go of the assumptions. Stop being so vain and thinking it's all about you. 

Hug someone who needs it. Stop being selfish and think of someone other than yourself for a week. Seriously- once per day, for a week.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

A Time to be Politically Correct

We've all had those moments where we're just goofing around with friends and start saying things that we know are inappropriate and rude, but in the heat of the moment it's hysterical. It doesn't mean you're a bad person or have bad intentions, it means you're human. It probably also means you've got a sick sense of humor like I do. Cheers to that! I also can't stand the stereotypical soccer mom that has to whine and complain that something offended her sweet little nugget of obnoxiousness and takes everything to court so she can keep her Gucci bag and Oscar-De-La-Renta shoes while sipping martinis and doing nothing to help society. USUALLY (I'd say at least 98% of the time) I say "If you don't like it, leave" (or don't read it, listen to it etc) and allow others to have their moment of joviality.

However, there are some things that I see or hear and I'm BEYOND appalled. Generally, I'm the last one to get offended over things that have a double meaning and LOVE finding things that do. BUT today I found myself appalled and disgusted at a slogan.

Generally speaking, Breast Cancer awareness means pink EVERYWHERE. I hate the color pink. Always have, always will. I think it's great people are out trying to raise awareness and money for those who need it most and all while building bonding relationships during a time when moral support is as necessary as treatment. BUT there are way too many companies that slap their logo brand with a pink ribbon and say to the consumer "Look how great we are because of this! Buy more!" and donate maybe a penny per purchase to the actual funding. It also makes me nauseous that not only are these companies cashing in on people who are in dire need of assistance, but they are companies whose products have NOTHING to do with the illness themselves. M&M's? Trash cans? Shoes? Seriously people, get a clue. You don't need to buy products like this. If anything, it's one more way to tell the world "I'm a good person, see my pink cup, purse, walkie-talkie, tiara etc?" - you've just become like the companies out there want you to be: a consumer-schmuck who just buys junk that doesn't actually help anyone.

BEFORE YOU SEND HATE MAIL READ THIS: I'm not saying there AREN'T any products out there that DON'T donate a generous amount of money to whatever they say they are funding. I'm just saying it's extremely rare.

Anyhow, enough ranting. Here is what started this post in the first place:
http://www.pumpkinmasters.com/index.asp

Their slogan? "Carving For A Cause".... ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME!?!?! Who thought THAT was a good idea when women are having their breasts cut off to save their lives everyday??

I'm horrified to the point I can't even put into words on this one. All I did was send a message at the "Contact Us" area voicing my concern. I think it might be a wise idea for you to do the same if you feel at all like I do.

In the meantime, keep your jokes "clean" without using people who are in situations that could kill them. It's not funny.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Congress, President and hairy fingers

I know what you're thinking: What does Congress and hairy fingers have to do with one another? Everything. Think of it as the person everyone raves about having an amazing dish they want to whip up for everyone. You try it excitedly and find an odd hair in it. The man is bald and wearing a long-sleeved shirt.

"Where did this come from?" You wonder. There are no pets in the house. Then you look at the man's hands. SUPER. HAIRY. FINGERS. You nearly gag.

Who the hell let him in the kitchen?? Who let him cook this dish for us, knowing full well what was on his hands?

Then you realize you were part of the problem. Others convinced you to try this item, to trust this person you knew nothing else about and to go with the flow.

You joined the lemmings and jumped off the proverbial cliff and now you're not satisfied with the results.

The only way you get to complain is if you had actually suggested someone else make the dish in the kitchen. The only way you get to complain is if you had stood up and said "Yes, that's great but what about the cleanliness of his hands??"

Congress doesn't just have hairy fingers. They have an abundance of filth under their nails and tiny cuts all over their hands too. It isn't from hard work friends. It's from the fact they were taught better but are able to continue to get away with contamination for however many they affect.

Think this is disgusting? The President just borrowed your ear-buds and doesn't clean his ears. That's why he doesn't listen to your complaints and doesn't try to fix things you suggest. He also just kicked your favorite pet and took your grandmother's pocketbook.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Why I love my dirty shoes.



She sat, white-haired and bundled in her blue sweater reading her book that stated the main character had taken off to somewhere incredible. And on this gorgeous September morning, it couldn’t have felt like a more romantic notion. The sun flittered through the trees like water around skin in the ocean for the first time.

“So why just read about taking off?” I wondered to myself. “Why not just go?” and I thought about all the reasons we tell ourselves as humans: “I can’t because of xyz obligations etc” which just seems so sad to me. Books are lovely and a temporary escape, but at some point you have to go. You have to get out there and explore the world you have been brought into. You have only that obligation.

Life will pass quickly, we have all heard this. It does. For some it passes faster than for others I believe. For this woman, all wrapped up in her book, her sweater only gave temporary warmth and her book only gave a momentary escape. Now she sits in a coffee shop thinking the thoughts of those who haven’t lived: “What if I had…?” and “What would have been”, cursing herself inwardly to the point she can no longer smile at a stranger (me) sitting next to her.

Her perfectly white tennis shoes, perfectly tied laces had not experienced the adventures and the happiness of a fleeting moment that my worn shoes and frayed jeans had. “How sad” I thought to myself. And suddenly I was happy at the holes and fraying I had once cursed, for they meant crucial life explorations I had captured.

Monday, September 9, 2013

My thoughts on 9/11

As we enter the 12 year anniversary of 9/11 I've had mixed emotions about the topic.

I've noticed some people are going on with life like nothing happened. They go to work, get married, take their kids to school and live life in general.

Others have no choice but to remember what happened that day as they say silent prayers at gravestones, visit the various sites of attacks or find their own way to remember what happened and say their "Thanks" to the brave men and women who died that day.

Some of you may say that to move on with life as if nothing happened is to show that America will always remain unchanged despite how terrorists try to thwart our unity. Others say that it is somewhat of a "holy" day and should mean we get a day off of school and work to pay tribute to what happened to our country.

I will say that I agree with the latter, but only if people will actually teach their children what happened, why America is important and what our flag stands for. So far, I see kids running around on the 4th of July, Veterans Day, Memorial Day and so forth without realizing any significance.

This is the fault of the parents for not teaching the future generations of our great country any better.

Bear in mind I'm not saying force your children to sit and watch the news footage of current and past wars or what happened on 9/11. What I am saying is that even at the age of 3, children remember a lot of what you say, despite what you think. Just reminding them at a young age that the flag is never to touch the ground and is a very important artifact we use in our country will suffice until they are older.I'm also not saying don't have fun with fireworks and BBQ's on July 4th.

Yes, I personally volunteer with different military groups and am (what I consider anyhow) a diehard patriotic person. Politics has nothing to do with teaching your children the history of the flag or the importance of why we take certain days off of school or work.

I guess what I'm saying is stop running to Wal-mart to make these historical days just another BBQ or party day for your family or friends. Incorporate a moment of silence into the gathering to pay respect and teach children and others to remember that your celebration came at a great cost to many.

Whatever you choose (or have to do that day since not everyone can take off from work or school), just take 30 seconds or a minute of your time and remain silent and say a prayer for those who have had to pick up the pieces as family members were lost. If you want to do something more, write a letter to a service member and express sincere gratitude for what they do. 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Starbucks and people watching

So I'm sitting here in Starbucks, officially avoiding homework (again) and just people watching. It's amazing to me how people interact with one another. I say "interesting" because the reason people usually come here isn't just for coffee. People don't come to Starbucks just for coffee. They come for a variety of different reasons:

1. To mingle with people they don't see often. It's the universal place to go see someone of the opposite sex without actually having a "date". OR it's the safest place to meet someone before seeing if you want to have a real date with them like dinner. You tell yourself "It's just coffee" and leave it at that. It's the place I know I go to see friends without my boyfriend having to worry and vice-verse. I guess it's "neutral territory" in a way.

2. To take their kids to a place other than the park/usual places and pretend they're doing the kid a favor. The only issue with this is that 99% of the time, kids are left unattended and annoy the crap out of the other patrons. No, you're "little angel" is not behaving behind your back while you gossip with a friend. This goes for dads and moms alike. The last time I experienced this was when a mother of 2 came in (and she was pregnant) and standing in line ordering. Her two children were roaming around trying to open bags of coffee beans, playing with the items in the cold-fridge-like-area for sale, trying to take the balloons, kicking each other and subsequently running into strangers trying to get away from one another. The mother was apparently completely unaware of this activity. Her husband met her out front and asked how the kids were. She replied: "They were perfect little angels as usual". Obliviousness does not mean things aren't going on dear. I truly believe people this unaware of life shouldn't have the ability to drive or vote.

3. To get away from your life and still pretend you're 'socializing' with other people. Don't be mad if this describes you, I do it too.

4. You're trying to study but still feel like you got out of the house.

5. You do your online shopping at another location so nobody finds out at home. (I do this too).

I also go to people watch and just observe where people "are". This means that I watch and try to figure out if they're happy with themselves, sad, what type of profession they do, what type of background they come from and so forth. I apparently also go to Starbucks to write. It's where I can just put my ear-buds in and tune out.

Why do you go to Starbucks?

I have no clue what I'm doing

Seriously. In a world where everyone is tech-savvy, doing things on their phones like email, blogging and the like I find myself doing the opposite. I just barely got my first touch-screen phone in February (an Iphone) and even now all these months later I'm still finding that I have no idea how to use the damn thing half the time.

So why am I writing a blog you ask? I wondered the same thing until I had multiple people tell me I needed to share my writings and thoughts with others that didn't know me. So here I am. This experience is going to be raw, vulnerable and messy. Just like life.

People come to me asking for advice on things a LOT. I'm not really sure why considering all my life-choices and experiences haven't been exactly brilliant. But then again, maybe that's why they ask my advice/opinion on things: who better to ask than someone who has failed continuously and still kept smiling? I've learned a lot and I realize I still have a lot left to learn.

I hope you'll join me on this adventure and keep comments kind and insightful. Opinions are NOT necessarily asked for since everyone has one, just like an @**hole. It doesn't mean everyone wants to hear it.