Friday, November 22, 2013

Friends being stupid

Recently I told someone about a few instances regarding some friends and their decisions lately.
These "decisions" happen to revolve around sudden divorce or breakup and getting remarried again. The other person going from one guy to another, getting engaged quickly and mooching off of them like crazy for a few weeks to a month or so (literally) and then breaking up with them to go to someone else and the cycle starts all over. With each of these people it's always a "whirlwind love" and each time they "swear" that "this time I know he's the ONE" blah blah blah whatever. 

Here's my issue: You are dragging other people through all of this proverbial shit in the meantime to experiment with whatever emotional baggage you're dealing with. The remedy? Simple: TAKE TIME TO BE ALONE. Figure out what is best for you after a breakup. Find yourself again and just be.

Unfortunately, neither of these women realize they have developed a dependent personality and suddenly "need" a man in their lives either to define them or take care of them. Have I tried talking sense into them? You bet. I've tried being nice, tried suggestions only to get screamed at for not being supportive. I've tried being blunt and saying  "I told you so." and "This is what you said last time" and that didn't work either. Other friends have also tried to intervene. Sadly, it's a train wreck that keeps getting back on the tracks after each collision. At some point you almost have to admire the idiocy of attempting to continue it over and over and expect different results really.

Now back to the person I told all this to.
His response: "Where do you find these train wrecks?" And it is a very valid point. I did have to remind him that they weren't like that when we first met AND we all have our "moments" in life that make us look like complete whack-jobs in someone's eyes.  Hell, I know I have an ex or 2 out there to this day vouching that I should be institutionalized. 

Here is the difference though: WE FIX OURSELVES rather than getting worse. We admit (at some point or another) that something is wrong and needs to be adjusted. We ask for help and work through our issues rather than just trampling over people and pretending things are fine. THAT is not healthy. And doing all this with KIDS in the mix, going from one relationship to the other?? Why not just attach a damn snorkel to your kids face, a rope around their waist and the other end to a car while you drag them through the proverbial mud of your shitty relationships and tell them to learn to tread the crap in life that you can't stop to help get yourself out of. How are you teaching them anything?? You aren't. Way to go.

Get your shit together and think of your child first like you said you would at some point in your life. If you don't have a kid, then stop acting like an idiot with other people's hearts in the first place. THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Veterans Day vs. Memorial Day- and Why You Should Care

Last night in the pub I was having a beer or two with a couple of my best men. As one can expect after one too many, someone brings up a topic that is a bit too serious and others will either try to change the conversation, ignore it or join in. Usually I'm guilty of ignoring or changing the topic, but this time I jumped in and listened, and despite him being a bit more than "tipsy" he had some very valid points I wanted to share:

The difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day is the realization that we honor those who either did or didn't make it back. For those of you who need it broken down completely here ya go:

Veterans Day: 
*Made it back
*Witnessed unfathomable things we can't imagine to keep us safe.
*Many still being deployed/utilized in keeping our country safe, despite having lost friends/relatives in battle, sometimes side by side.
*Many live with daily issues like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and unfortunately have limited options through the VA to address these issues.

Memorial Day:
*These brave men and women sadly did not make it back while defending our freedoms for our great country. THUS why we call it "Memorial Day"- it is a day we take to remember them and the remarkable sacrifice they gave for us. They don't get to say a final goodbye to their families, they don't get to see their children grow up or loved ones live on, (except if you believe in the "great beyond" of course).

Do not be fooled either. They don't get paid a lot of money and this is NOT a glamorous life they lead. I was once a military wife, so I know how little they actually make.

What's Appropriate:
1. If you see a veteran, don't just go up and be all cheery like an effing cheerleader and act like you're doing a huge amazing act by saying "Thanks for your service!" and walking away. What they want is someone who actually CARES enough to show REAL emotion about what they went through. Look them in the eyes and say something like "I really appreciate your service" or a simple "Thank you for your service" will do.

2. If you're posting on social media (Facebook, Twitter etc) saying "Happy Veterans Day!!"  is treating it like it's birthday party. IT ISN'T. Remember, these are people who gave a LOT more than you can actually imagine- so treat it as such. It's a respect issue. If you can't find something decent to say about the day itself like "Thank you to all Veterans!" then just hush.

3. Retailers saying they're having a "Veterans Day sale" REALLY piss me off. You're selling things because people are veterans and gave their all for their country, so now they get 10% off a mattress??? REALLY? What is wrong with you!? If anything, advertising like that ensures that I will never (let me repeat: NEVER) shop at that establishment out of sheer principle. Taking advantage of a holiday like this is smart I get that- you want to make money, BUT they're veterans who were in WAR (most likely anyhow- we're just saying hypothetically to make a point here) and you want to make money off them  and only give them a measly 10% off?? How about at LEAST 40%?? Bloodthirsty pricks. Shame on them.

ANYHOW, be respectful of those who have fought for you to have so much. You live in a country that you can wear anything you want and say anything you want in public (for the most part), you can vote, you can drink, you can get an education, you can date inter-racially (in some countries that is a sin and you are killed for it), if you are raped you can bring your attacker(s) to justice (in other countries the rape victim is often burned by acid, stoned and shunned by the family because they believe the victim did it on purpose and now the family is disgraced) etc. WE HAVE IT EASY HERE IN AMERICA. BE THANKFUL.