Recently I told someone about a few instances regarding some friends and their decisions lately.
These "decisions" happen to revolve around sudden divorce or breakup and getting remarried again. The other person going from one guy to another, getting engaged quickly and mooching off of them like crazy for a few weeks to a month or so (literally) and then breaking up with them to go to someone else and the cycle starts all over. With each of these people it's always a "whirlwind love" and each time they "swear" that "this time I know he's the ONE" blah blah blah whatever.
Here's my issue: You are dragging other people through all of this proverbial shit in the meantime to experiment with whatever emotional baggage you're dealing with. The remedy? Simple: TAKE TIME TO BE ALONE. Figure out what is best for you after a breakup. Find yourself again and just be.
Unfortunately, neither of these women realize they have developed a dependent personality and suddenly "need" a man in their lives either to define them or take care of them. Have I tried talking sense into them? You bet. I've tried being nice, tried suggestions only to get screamed at for not being supportive. I've tried being blunt and saying "I told you so." and "This is what you said last time" and that didn't work either. Other friends have also tried to intervene. Sadly, it's a train wreck that keeps getting back on the tracks after each collision. At some point you almost have to admire the idiocy of attempting to continue it over and over and expect different results really.
Now back to the person I told all this to.
His response: "Where do you find these train wrecks?" And it is a very valid point. I did have to remind him that they weren't like that when we first met AND we all have our "moments" in life that make us look like complete whack-jobs in someone's eyes. Hell, I know I have an ex or 2 out there to this day vouching that I should be institutionalized.
Here is the difference though: WE FIX OURSELVES rather than getting worse. We admit (at some point or another) that something is wrong and needs to be adjusted. We ask for help and work through our issues rather than just trampling over people and pretending things are fine. THAT is not healthy. And doing all this with KIDS in the mix, going from one relationship to the other?? Why not just attach a damn snorkel to your kids face, a rope around their waist and the other end to a car while you drag them through the proverbial mud of your shitty relationships and tell them to learn to tread the crap in life that you can't stop to help get yourself out of. How are you teaching them anything?? You aren't. Way to go.
Get your shit together and think of your child first like you said you would at some point in your life. If you don't have a kid, then stop acting like an idiot with other people's hearts in the first place. THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE.